I’ve wanted to write about this for a long time, but I wasn’t quite ready to put all my thoughts down on paper. I was filling out work emails this morning, and I happened to come across modeling pictures from earlier this year and it hit me like a ton of bricks. A year ago I was in the darkest place of my life. I don’t like to go into specifics because I’m a very private person, but it’s something I wanted to write about because looking back on it makes me realize how STRONG I am, and I hope that someone reading this is inspired & can relate. I couldn’t get out of bed in the morning, I couldn’t eat, I lost 10 pounds and when I did wake up I was so emotionally drained I didn’t want to even move. I think the reason I’m comfortable writing about this now is because the past couple days have been the best days of my life, and it’s really made me put everything into perspective. So many people rely on others’ approval &/or permission to do certain things or lead their lives in a certain way. I’ve realized that there isn’t anything in the world that can stop you from doing what you love and makes you happy if you DON’T LET IT. It’s so easy to get caught up in social media & to lose who we are because we’re focusing on what we’re lacking instead of what we have. We face distractions every single day, but I learned that no matter what you go through, you have to focus on being a better YOU. Nothing in the world is worth losing who you are as a person. INNER STRENGTH is realizing your worth, knowing what you want and going after it relentlessly. Two days ago I shot a spread for FHM Magazine. A year ago I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror. I hope people reading this are inspired and know that whatever obstacles you go through in life, there is ALWAYS a light at the end of it.
This video was shot when I was first coming into my own again. It represents the vulnerable place I was at, and how I found my inner strength, found MYSELF again, and stood my ground. Shot by the amazing Omar Gomez and Michael Tushaus.